The holiday season, comprising of Thanksgiving and Christmas, is an important time for me. It’s when I look back over the year to gauge to see if I’m where I want or need to be in my life. I also remember, with fondness, those who have passed away as I miss them terribly.
This year has been especially wrought with many trials and adversities that have definitely taken me out of my comfort zone. I have grown in ways I never thought possible. And I’ve experienced my highest highs and my lowest lows this year.
I have a wonderful, intimate support group who has been my source of strength and my refuge from my life’s many storms. But I do not allow any one person to know everything about me or what’s going on because it’s too stressful for anyone to handle that much information and still function relatively normal.
For whatever reason, I have been given these tasks to strengthen my testimony, build my character, and to gain experience. It has been suggested to me that perhaps these adversities were placed upon me as a sort of punishment or for humility. But nothing could be further from the truth.
After much praying, pondering, and reflecting I finally received some answers for the immensely difficult trials I’ve been asked to overcome. As part of our mortal experience that we call life here, we are asked to perform missions or specific duties based upon our willingness and our abilities.
There’s an adage that states, “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.” The same theory may be applicable to overcoming adversities. Regardless of growing up in decidedly unfavorable conditions, one could hope to eventually, through hard work, sacrifices, and determination to find success. But that person also discoveries and defines what success means to him.
Not everyone has had to endure a relentlessly challenging life. In fact, that may very well be their obstacle to overcome. Someone who has never wanted for a meal, shelter, clothing, or any other basic human need may find it an extremely daunting task to be compassionate towards a homeless, an unemployed or an underemployed person and their family.
The “haves” who luxuriate gainful employment, homes, vacations, health, insurance, with other seemingly extravagant privileges simply reason that that “have nots” are lazy, incompetent whiners who deserve to be downtrodden. The lifestyles of the “have nots” are readily criticized with condemnation. The “haves” arrogantly presume that, due to their social status, they may render their disrespectful, arrogant and condescending opinions of the “have nots” without regard or understanding of their situation.
Over the years I have heard countless snide remarks about the number of children that I have given birth to over the years. All of my children were born within wedlock; all were wanted, prayed for and received with open arms. Instead of taking cruises to exotic places, I frugally raised my own children as a stay at home mother. I gave up social status, a career, money, adult conversation, fashionable clothing, vacations, among other things. However, I was truly grateful for the opportunity to nurture and raise my own children. The common, popular myth that it takes a village to raise a child is ludicrous. What it takes is an involved parent who is willing to sacrifice all that she/he is for the needs of another.
I have six beautiful, intelligent, loving children who may one day discover a cure for a currently deadly disease; protect and serve within our communities; teach our children’s children; or find some other manner to contribute to society. Who is able to say without prejudice that any one of their lives are not worthy because of special needs, unforeseen circumstances, or any other calamity that befell our family?
My children argue with one another, but they also love each other. They have learned to live with many different personalities and challenges which actually makes them an asset to society, and not a hindrance to it. My children see a need and then fill a need because it’s what they’ve been taught. They can do without their wants to make sure someone else’s needs are taken care of first.
A person enduring years of unending trials, yet remains tenacious in his attempt to continue onward despite the crushing weight of adversity may be the noblest individual appropriate for the unduly suffering. It is not a sign of weakness, but rather an indication of tremendous strength. In the Book of Job, an extremely righteous man has all of his ten children, 500 yoke of oxen, 500 donkeys, 7,000 sheep, and 3,000 camels, among other things destroyed or killed. His wife tells him to curse God, but Job refuses.
Job perseveres through his trials and afflictions by remaining steadfast in his faith. Eventually his friends come to console Job, who by then was plagued with boils. Job’s friends spent a week sitting next to him in silent support because they knew he was immensely sorrowful and grieving. Finally Job breaks his silence and “curses the day he was born.”
Job’s friends begin to condemn him by conferring their opinion as to why he has been exceedingly afflicted. Their interpretations of Job’s tribulations concluded that it was a sign of God’s anger and a punishment for Job’s sin. Job emphatically dismissed their erroneous assumptions. Eventually, Job’s health is restored, he is blessed with a new family and twice as much livestock for his willingness to endure his trials and keep his faith.
As has Job, I've had to live primarily on faith, especially this past year, more than ever before. I've been unjustly accused, perjured, slandered, and prejudicially judged. I have expressed my anger, disappointed, fears, while also acknowledging tender mercies and miracles through friendships and loved ones. I have grown to like who I am, though I admit, I’m still very much a work in progress. If I can encourage others to maneuver through the unsavory aspects of life which I’ve endured, then I will consider my trials and hardships as true blessings.
I am now more willing to give all that I have to anyone in need, knowing full well that when I stand in need I, too, will be comforted. I recognize that numerous well-meaning people have felt compelled to enlighten me with their rationalizations of why they believe I’ve had to experience such tragedies. But perhaps I’ve been tried by faith because I was sufficiently resilient to withstand the fires of refinement? Possibly my trials weren’t a product of my deficiencies, but rather an indication of my faithfulness and strength? Mayhap I endured endless adversities because He knew I would overcome them and not be defeated by them? Consequently, my trials, adversities, tragedies, and persecutions were bequeathed to me as a result of a lifetime of preparation for me to receive them; nothing more, and nothing less.
The significance of this narrative is simply to ask others to not judge anyone else unjustly. Everyone has their own mission to discover, a duty to fulfill, and a life to be experienced. Each has their unique story to tell and trials to overcome. And if you’re not edifying, then you’re crucifying. Share with others what you’ve conquered in order to lighten their burdens. Furthermore, refrain from condescending interpretations of the adversities, trials or calamities of others as you may one day find yourself not worthy enough to wash the dust from their feet.