Some people assume they're free to chastise or criticize me. I suppose I should feel so honored that they hang onto my every word that I type or say. However, if anyone takes offense to what I write, then free to ignore it. Don’t bother to rebuke, because unless you’ve walked in my shoes, you have no idea where I’ve been. And chances are, you won't ever be able to keep up with me.
A former professor of sociology and head of the marriage & family therapy program at the University of Southern California, who received his B.A. degree from Harvard University and his PhD from Cornell, Carlfred Broderick had a lot of important counsel to share.
He once said, “…realizing that I dealt as a therapist with many people who suffered far, far more pain than I ever suffered. I felt guilty at having been spared some of the pain that my friends had experienced.”
He went on to explain how one time he was experiencing a toothache and he thought that was a perfect opportunity “to embrace this existential experience and to join in this pain-open myself to this pain and experience it. I told myself that I was just going to sit in this pain and take it into myself and grow from it. That lasted for forty-five minutes, at which time I called the dentist and said ‘I want some pain medicine’.”
He went on to say, “I hate pain. I hate injustice. I hate loss. I hate all the things that we all hate…I’m certain pain destroys and embitters far more often than it ennobles. I’m sure that injustice us destructive of good things in the world far more often than people rise above it. I’m certain that in this unjust, awful world, there are far more victims who do not profit from their experience than those who do…pain is terrible.”
He spoke of a patient, saying after they had prayed together, “The Lord told her of His love and tender concern for her. He acknowledged that He had given her (and she volunteered for) a far, far harder task than He would have liked. She had signed up for hard children who had rebellious spirits, but who were valuable; for a hard husband who had a rebellious spirit but who was valuable. Twice Heavenly Father had given her the choice between life and death, whether to come home and be relieved of her responsibilities, which weren’t going very well or to stay to see if she could work them through. Twice on death’s bed, she sent the messenger away and gone back to the hard task. She stayed with it.”
Dr. Broderick said he “realized that he was in the presence of one of the Lord’s great, noble spirits, one who had chosen not a safe place behind the lines pushing out some ordnance to the people on the front lines as he was doing, but somebody who chose to live out in the trenches where the Lord’s work was being done, where there was risk, where you could be hurt, where you could lose, where you could be destroyed by your love. That was the way she had chosen to labor.”
I have people in my family who have autism, ADHD, severe allergies and asthma, among other things. Perhaps I “asked “ or “volunteered” for this, or maybe the task was given to me because of the past that I managed to survive somewhat intact with more grace and courage than most could hope to do.
Some days are much easier than other days and sometimes there are days when life simply sucks. However, I know He is aware of me. I get angry, sad & cry at times, because I am human. I have suffered from many adverse experiences in my life. But I have also felt the Spirit of God in my presence and I have been unbelievably blessed.
Just because I vent does not mean I do not believe in Him. I have been through much, but He has also been through it with me.
It’s so much easier to steer a rowboat away from a tree limb fallen in the water than it was for the Titanic to turn away from the submerged iceberg…
So please don’t attempt to steer my battleship when the only experience you have in life steering is a matchbox car...I have been given this task not to fail, but to succeed. If you must comment, then encourage me. Just help me smile or laugh, because I got this.
“I believe in the sun when it isn't shining, I believe in love even when I don't feel it. I believe in God even when He's silent.”