"How's that for irony?"

As I reflect on the array of experiences I’ve had, I can’t help but notice the brazen irony I’ve experienced throughout my life. Someone used to say of me, “she can make a short story long.” It was an implication that I was incompetent and inferior to others as that offhanded, belittling remark was made to remind me to sit down and shut up. However, once I removed him from my life, I realized that I had a unique talent for storytelling. And that’s not exactly the same thing as being told you’re worthless.

To this day that person cannot effectively communicate his thoughts, feelings or desires to others and finds my ability to do so overwhelming remarkable. Nevertheless, his envy prohibits him from acknowledging errors as he continues to passive aggressively criticize everything I do or say. The stronger I become, the less his behavior affects me but the more he attempts to re-claim control. I have long since moved on, but he has become an embittered soul. Paradoxically, I pray for him but refuse to engage in a toxic relationship with him.

Avoidance of drama has become incredibly vital in my life despite the fact that I have children. When I first became a mother, I was overwhelmed by the enormous, never-ending responsibility. I did not have good parenting role mentors, so I un-parented to compensate for the lack of constructive instruction. I only knew what not to do, so I didn’t do it. My parenting niche emphatically evolved into a profoundly close relationship with all six of my children.

Deliberately I use humor to distract undesirable behavior because I was not embarrassed to act like an idiot in order to change my children’s attitudes and moods. I expect my children to do their best in whatever it is they desire. I insist on being respected as I show respect to them and to others, even if I don’t receive it. How I choose to respond to others is a testimony of my standards. I have long since discovered that I can only control what I do and I’m not responsible for others’ actions or words. While I will advocate for those who cannot do so for themselves, I will walk away from unnecessary drama every single time.

It took me a long time to realize that I had the ability to say no without remorse. It was always my prerogative to say no, I won’t tolerate abusive language and actions towards me and yet for years I allowed it. I will continue be kind and compassionate because I refuse to allow others to change my landscape. I will persist to discover my talents, explore my options and learn new things. It was in losing sight of my comfort zone that I understood that the world was a much bigger and beautiful place than I could ever imagine. My life has been touched by so many very good people and some not so much. I have learned something from all of them though; personality traits in others that I’d like to improve upon in me and which lifestyles I simply loathe. My life has been truly blessed through many trials and tribulations, but it only made me strong. How’s that for irony?