"Giving Thanks"

Sometimes you just have to realize how much you’ve been blessed and simply give thanks. Blessings can come in all sorts of means, manners, and avenues; but giving thanks, that just comes from the heart.
I’m often told not to worry so much about things. I smile and think to myself, everything I truly worry about never happens, so worrying must help somewhat, right?
I’m at a point in my life where I can see how far I’ve come and appreciate the journey that has taken place. I understand that by experiencing life’s events you gain a deeper perspective and gratitude for safe harbors when you come to them.
As a parent, I’ve had many opportunities to comfort and nurture my children. I’ve spent many sleepless nights worrying about illnesses and many other things my children have endured. The last thought on my mind is about the safety and well-being for my family and friends. I could no more forget to pray before I fall asleep then I could forget to breathe.
Circumstances over the past two years have caused extreme stress for my family and me. These situations were mostly beyond my control; I had to triage them and determine the best course of action. Many of these events or circumstances I’ve not dealt with before so it was extremely intimidating to discern the correct assessment which would provide the optimal outcome.
Then I learned something about grace. It was because I had the best intentions that I managed to skirt most of the worst-case scenarios. By removing my expectations, desires and wants from the situations, it allowed room for some incredible phenomena to enter in. I met a multitude of intelligent, compassionate and influential people willing to offer me sage advice to maneuver through the uncharted waters that was my life.
Trusting strangers was a foreign concept for me; and yet, that’s all I had to rely upon for my most daring adventures. Trusting that my children would be safe and out of harm’s way was an extremely hard lesson to apply in my life; nevertheless, once everything was stripped down to just the bare essentials, trust was all that I had left.
Once it became apparent that all I could do was all that I could do, I had to learn to trust others to do all they could do. I cannot make the sun rise or set earlier or later than it does. I cannot ensure that scary things won’t happen to my children. I cannot control what I cannot control, and that was a liberating feeling to comprehend.
Last night we experienced a weather anomaly that I abhor. It the darkest hour of the night and without warning a storm blew through. The electricity went off so there was no way to know how bad the weather would get, what to expect and when it would be over. The kids were safely tucked into their beds, and I simply said a prayer.
Upon awakening I surveyed the storm’s wrath. Tree limbs were sheared off not more than twenty-five feet from out home. Bark was stripped off the trees, circular patterns in the fields and a distinctive path of “something” was proof that the storm was more than I had imagined. And yet, I went to sleep amidst the howling, cracks of thunder and intensely bright lightning flashes.
I didn’t even think to worry or stress about the storm last night. By the morning light, I realized that even without my worrying, we were blessed anyway. I am grateful for life events that happen to let me know that I am truly protected even during my darkest hours; especially when I don’t realize are my dreariest times.
My life may not have taken the paths that I had anticipated, planned and expected. Instead, my paths have led me to places I never would have gone without having the intervention of my most incorrigible moments. I have found the most loving, faithful and trustworthy friends during my darkest hours. I would never in a million years agree to the amount of suffering and torment I’ve experienced to get to where I am. But now that I am here, I would never trade what I’ve experienced to go back to where I was.
My blessings have exceeded my expectations and my gratitude is genuine. I have decided that it is good that we do not know what lies before us because then we can allow our faith to see us through. Does this mean I’ll stop worrying? I’d like to think yes, but I know that I will always be concerned with others, especially my children and loved ones. But I’m learning to let go and trust. And that is a good thing, no?